What is single motherhood by choice?

When women choose to parent a child without husbands or partners, they are making a conscious decision to create their own families through non-traditional means. A significant number of women today are choosing to have children without marriage, a decision traditionally viewed by society as irresponsible and unrealistic. According to the 2005 U.S. Census Bureau, one out of every three children today is born to an unmarried mother(1). As the subject of increasing public debate, these women who choose to defy the traditional order of marriage and children are moving against the current of conventional gender roles.

These women are different from those who view their pregnancies as "accidental", and often spend a long period of time researching and considering all the different possibilities available to them. They go through stages where they explore all the options of having children, which include adoption, surrogacy, artificial insemination by a donor, and chancing pregnancy.

Contrary to popular assumption, these mothers are among the increasing group of women with professional occupations. They have a deep desire for children but are too busy or just not interested in choosing marriage. While single motherhood was once an indication of poverty and lack of education, it is now just another option that women have in creating families.

Divorce

Not all single mothers consciously make the decision to raise a child outside of marriage. Many women have children during marriages, but decide to pursue divorce for various reasons. Sometimes they leave deficient husbands because of abuse, inadequacy, danger, or infidelity.

Fighting for the rights that they deserve

As women and mothers, but most of all human beings, single mothers should have the freedom to choose their own method of family making. Women have been fighting continually for the recognition and acceptance that has been denied to them solely because they refuse to follow traditional gender roles. They have been historically oppressed and bound by gendered expectations which mark them as inferior to men. These traditional conceptions of gender roles assign women to domestic duties and place men the role of provider. Through their unconventional actions, single mothers are demanding the right to reject their assigned gender roles, especially in the areas of marriage and family life.

Parenting Support From a Variety of Sources

Without the presence of a husband, single mothers have the responsibility of both providing for and nurturing their families. This task is extremely difficult without some form of external support. Many single mothers have constructed alternative support systems, such turning to extended families for help.

One of these support systems relies on parents or kin who provide many different kinds of assistance, including financial, childcare, residential, and mental. There are many situations where single mothers live in the homes of their parents or relatives, and receive in-kind support.  Oftentimes, this provides the mother with assistance in childcare, which can work to encourage single mothers to enter the labor force and receive education by giving them more free time.

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Resources

(1) U.S Census Bureau, 2005.